Who Needs A Tank, Just Bring a Disc Priest

I read an amusing article about The Val’anyr Curse and it reminded me of all the times I’ve screwed around in heroics when I’ve had absolutely no respect for the instance (and, I suppose, my cross-server PuG teammates). The “too much huh?…. sorry =( I’ll be good now.” was very amusing to me to say the least, as I’ve basically done what that tank did, except I’ve never had a healer with Val’anyr. I typically know my healers in my heroics because my best in-guild friend is one, and so is his housemate, so basically at all times one or the other of them is healing me with a few rare exceptions and since we all have 232+ gear on instances tuned for 187, I try to do things to keep the instance fun for myself and for them by “not playing by the rules”.
I was in a heroic Violet Hold and, as usual, my healer was dpsing because he didn’t need to heal me. The disc priest was LOLSMITEing and firing offensive penance casts when I decided; “Lets take off my helm. I’ve heard other tanks do this, and I’d still be way above def cap, might as well.” So I took it off. Then, before the next portal I decided; “you know what, just a helm isn’t enough…” so off came the legs. “LOL I am a cute blood elf girl with no pants on and tanking wheeee!” But the next portal hadn’t spawned and as I jumped around I thought; “you know what, it still isn’t enough” and off came the shoulders, chest, gloves, belt, and boots. So I’m wearing my necklace, my cape, my tabard, 2 rings, 2 stam trinkets, my mainland and my shield (because if I took my weapons off, I’d never hold threat). And so we go. I tank the next 6 portals and the boss wearing nothing that has a durability value besides the weapons. My health is around 26,000 and I’m wellllll below def cap, something like 460 or so. It still wasn’t quite enough so I took off my mainland weapon and put on the Hailstorm, a dps sword from Maly10 that I had in my bags. By the end of the instance the 2 pugs with me where pleased I had chosen to “take it off” and my guildies and I were having quite the amusing time in vent. It really bolsters your feeling of immortality as a tank when you can hold ago and live through heroics being basically naked. You forget that a gear is what makes people tanks (well, and a spec) but here I was tanking with just about no gear on. So it’s not that my gear makes me immortal, I AM IMMORTAL TANK WHEEEE!!!
So we queue up for another and this time I tank Heroic Culling of Stratholme just as naked, but to spice it up, I put on King’s Defender, a lv70 tanking weapon from Kharazan, and a lv60 shield from Blackwing Lair and tank in that. It gets hairy once or twice, but my 22k health-basically-naked tank with 8000 armor-with-improved-devo-aura tanks everything just fine. We get another heroic, this time I don my Christmas outfit, boots and hat and have at it. Another instance down, and my immortality complex remains. New heroic, put on some outlands healer plate, my Blessings Set, and tanked in that. Next heroic, I downgraded to my tier2 Judgement Armor set. Still lived. I never did put on my ret gear, turn righteous fury on, and attempt to tank that way. Part of me feels like I’m better off tanking naked in prot spec than I am fully clothed in ret spec. I’d have no trouble holding agro whatsoever in ret because of righteous fury, but somehow I think I’d just be more squishy. But having tanked naked, I wonder why it is that mages and plate dps classes can’t just tank heroics if their healer is amenable to it. Perhaps it is true, better to be naked prot than a mage-tank. Armor value is approximately equivalent, but something just doesn’t quite translate.
I would never attempt to tank a heroic naked without a healer I knew and who I was in constant communication with, and my pull sizes were much more reasonable. I wasn’t pulling the whole halls of lightning plus an energized boss while naked. Perhaps it was only because I had a disc priest healing me that I was able to screw around in such a way, the bubble-mitigation being the equivalent of my missing 22k armor. Maybe a holy priest, holy paladin, resto druid and resto shaman would not have been able to keep me alive through my indulgence. Maybe it’s just one of those things; don’t have a tank online? Find a plate dps and a disc priest and queue for a heroic as a tank, get your instant queue and have at it, you’ll probably live through it, lol.

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2 Responses to “Who Needs A Tank, Just Bring a Disc Priest”

  1. My main is a Resto Druid, who is well geared, and I had a pug with a failure of a DK tank with 71 points into frost because its the tanking spec, who refused to used pestilence or Death and Decay, so the warlock put on his pvp gear and basically tanked everything. That was fun to heal.

  2. [...] dungeon as soon as my debuff wears off. Yes, I am a tank. Don’t hate me because you need me (except you don’t) hate Blizzard because they made it that way. But I can also understand where the old fogies, [...]

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