If Bosses Could Nerf Us

Probably not that creative of an idea, but our very, very, very messy Rotface 25H kill the other day got me thinking about it. Sure, players are allowed to cry foul and demand nerfs based on PvP, either in arenas or battlegrounds, and these nerfs usually diminish, if not outright occasionally cripple, us carebears in PvE (LoH + Bubble = never again in PvE /cry), but bosses are inanimate, they don’t get to cry foul. I’m sure Yogg wasn’t happy 17 warlocks could just turn their back to him as he died from dots. Warlocks also probably tick off the Lich King and his Val’kyr since they can just use their teleporter pad to nullify that particular encounter mechanic too. Bosses aren’t clothie healers, but any boss where melee get to plant their feet and wail on bosses must also HATE rogues dropping 12k+ on them just as much as ganged priests. But above all, if bosses could nerf only one class and one ability, it would, in my opinion, UNQUESTIONABLY be a Paladin’s ability to use Divine Shield, because invariably what can happen when all hope seems lost, is that the boss will be at 1% full of dots, and the Paladin will be at 1% and the Paladin bubbles, watches their raid die, then laugh when the Boss falls over in 12s or less while they are still standing.
Once again, Divine Shield has proven that it’s not just powerful in arenas and BGs, it’s borderline over-powered in raids (in very select circumstances). After a very solid opening to our Rotface 25H kill, things started to go off the wall with large oozes exploding almost as fast as they formed; and one time I swear there was like 8 little oozes up at once running all over the damn place not merging. About half the raid went down and I was kiting 2 or 3 large oozes attempting to get them to merge before I ran out of real estate with Hand of Freedom on CD. I thought I heard the Rotface tank die so I taunted the boss too. Turns out he didn’t actually die so he picked him back up quickly. I like to think this little ping-pong kept him alive another 4 seconds while Rotface was trying to get range on someone. At some point 2/3 of the raid was dead and the boss was at some ridiculously low health level and a burn was ordered. I started kiting the slimes closer to the boss so I could judge, throw my shield and hammer at him while still trying to maintain agro.
Eventually, the Rotface tank did die, and he came charging over to me. I got hit once or twice, not sure if AD proc’d or not, I wasn’t taking any chances, I bubbled. I think I remember seeing him with around 800k or so at this point. Next thing I knew I couldn’t see any more little or big slimes picking a fight with me. This was, I later found out, because everyone was dead so no one was getting injected. Once again, I find myself mano-a-mano with a raid boss with nothing between me and death but a 12s miracle of a CD. One wily Shaman remembered he could ankh and started beating on the boss with no mana and less health. I pretty much stopped paying attention to the boss at this point and just started running from the boss hitting every ability I was in range to use as soon as it’s CD was up. I’m pretty sure every DoT had faded at this point, I don’t remember seeing more than 2 rows of debuffs under his target frame, and at least 3 of them were mine. But completely oblivious to health pool, my surroundings, dots on the boss, the fact that the Shaman had somehow died, or time left on my miracle, Rotface keeled over and we were one step closer. Times like these it’s fun to be on vent. I even caught myself doing a little fist pump in my chair as he bit it.
I bring up this topic because this phenomenon is neither unique to this encounter, nor to me. Rotface actually is the 3rd boss, 2nd on hard mode, where me and my bubble have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. First was a guild-first Anub10H when we had 39 attempts left (which I wrote about Here). The second, was a guild first Blood Queen Lanathel 25 where she died about 5s or so after her hard enrage where me and 3 others survived (dunno how they made it to be honest since none were paladins). In both those two previous instances I was of sound-enough mind to take a victory screenshot (probably because both made achievements pop up on my window, now that I think about it), but somehow I was so relieved and pumped to survive the Rotface H encounter that I neglected to. My disappointment at this fact is immeasurable, especially because when I remembered that I didn’t, I had already resed half the raid so my opportunity was lost. Probably it was a mix of relief at clearing the encounter, excitement at being the ultimate “hero” of the encounter (because everyone who did their job and contributed the first 99.9% of the damage done to the boss became completely irrelevant if they’re not alive when the boss dies, obviously), and the relief that I was able to, in my own mind, win just the tiniest bit of brownie points with screamy-gm at best, and not provoke an outrage at a .01% wipe at worst. Fortunately, my co-tank did have the presence of mind to take a pre-res, pre-teabag-the-corpse photo, presumably because he had time to do so while eating some delicious, delicious floor… so I am still gifted with the sight of a grid where I’m the only one still alive and the wondrously glib chatlog that accompanied it at the time. There’s nothing quite like seeing a killshot of 24 dead Kingslayers on the ground and you’re not one of them. For that, I shall forever be grateful to him. 🙂
So, yeah… Paladins are awesome, I love my Divine Shield, and bosses are robbed of their post-raid-wiping laughter at our long run back and repair bills. I’m sure that while this occurrence is a statistically insignificant one for most raids and boss kills, I bet we’d be one of the first things Bosses would choose to nerf if their grievances were made public; along with any movement-speed increasing talents/spells/enchants. They want us to die in their fires, I just know it. They would probably also ask to nerf warriors, not because they would feel it was especially necessary, but I think they just want to laugh at them for not being Paladins, Death Knights (holy 3.3.3 buffs Batman) and Druids even more. So we’re 4/12 now (we skipped deathwhisper) and moving on. Festergut will hopefully fall soon, once we figure out a sure-fire way for the melee to avoid getting goo’d. And, one last thing, I would just like to voice my disappointment at Saurfang dropping only ONE piece of 277 tier, and 2 pieces of 264, I was really expecting better. Guess my 277 set will take a little longer.

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